The Bikini Bottom Love Triangle
by KirbyKitten456
Summary: A love fic that shows how difficult it is to be a sponge surrounded by three creatures who want him to be theirs. Involves birthdays, golden clarinets, rejected squirrels, being trapped in Rock Bottom alone... Squid/Sponge, Pat/Sponge, anti Sponge/Sandy
1. Prologue

We see a small little island floating gracefully in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. A cold, salty air fills your nose, causing your nostrils to burn a bit. But there is not a cloud in the sky. The sun is shining. The seagulls are chirping. Fish jumping in and out of the water. And a French narrator that has appeared out of nowhere to tell us this story.

"Ahhh. Ze sea. So beautiful. So calm. So...wet..." We plunge down beneath the waves to reveal the beautiful town of Bikini Bottom, marked by a small orange lifesaver. The sky is a light, painted blue, with little colored flowers floating in the sky. Millions of tiny buildings lie in the small suburb. But the one we are focusing on today, is the Pineapple villa belonging to the one known as...well, I'll let the narrator tell you.

"As we approach the home of our main character, we see a small dome, home to zat of Sandy Cheeks, an underwater squirrel who has come to study undersea life. Yes, it IS a strange city, isn't it?

"And next is ze Krusty Krab, ze workplace of our main heroes. Shaped like a lobster trap and run by ze money loving Monsier Krabs.

"Ahh. Here we are!" We see a small street, consisting only of three houses. Compared to the others in Bikini Bottom, these are a bit different. "Here we see ze home of Patrick Star." A large brown rock with a little antennae poking out the top is shown, the least strange of the three houses.

"And next we see Squidward Tentacles' house. An Easter Island Head." The narrator said with a chuckle. "And zis isn't the strangest yet."

Now we see the last house. A large pineapple. "And now, we approach ze home of our main hero. Spongebob Squarepants. Yes of COURSE, he lives in a pineapple, you silly!"

We then go inside the pineapple house to the bedroom of the sponge. A bed with three mattresses sits in the middle of the room, a diving board perched right above. There's also a bedside table with a foghorn alarm on it, along with a little pink snail with blue spots resting on a newspaper.

The little yellow, square sponge lay asleep in his bed snoring quietly. The foghorn ticks silently as light slowly melts into his bedroom. *Tick, tick, tick, tick*

***BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM* The alarm went off suddenly with no warning in a loud blast that would have shattered anyone's eardrums.

But Spongebob just opened his eyes slowly, not at all phased by the loud noise. Even taking his time to grogilly get out of bed while his snail flinches at the awful sound. Finally he clicks it off and stretches.

"Good morning, Gar-bear!" He chirps happily, petting his obviously annoyed snail.

"Mrow..." Gary murmured, curling his eyes stalks back up to go to sleep.

Spongebob went over to his calendar at the other side of the room. He gasps excitedly when he notices the date. "October 9th! That's Squidward's birthday!" He gets a sly look on his face. "I have to go and surprise him..."

"Meow.." Gary mumbles at his owner.

Spongebob glares at him. "What do you mean, I shouldn't bother him, Gary? It's his birthday, and I'm one of his best friends!" He takes out a pair of pants, that oddly enough have a white shirt melded into the top. They were brown with black loops running through it, and a red tie. He quickly puts them on and goes downstairs to search for something to give to his "friend".

Gary followed him downstairs, knowing with the sponge's excitement he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. He rolled his eyes seeing Spongebob quickly trying to find something. "Meow?"

"I don't know, what do you think he'd like?" He asked his snail.

He sighed and just grumbled before going off to find some food in the house. Spongebob still searched his house and eventually found something. A shiny new clarinet. "Whoa, where did I get this?" He wondered. "Oh yeah, I went over that day to ask him if we could play clarinet together. Well, maybe he'd like a new one." He quickly wrapped it up in wrapping paper and put a little sticker on it.

Heading out the door, he grabbed his work hat for his job at the Krusty Krab and started down the street. He stopped in front of Squidward's house and knocked lightly on the door. No answer.

"Hmm. Maybe he's still asleep." Spongebob thought. He knocked again, louder this time. Still no answer. "We have to work today, I wonder why he's still asleep."

He decided that he might as well give him his present now, and opened the door, which surprisingly was open. He walked up the stairs quietly, to see the squid was still asleep.

He smiled slightly at the sight of him sleeping. He went over to where his head was facing and poked his bulbous nose. "Squidward... Squidwaaaard...?" He whispered softly. Still nothing. "Squidwaaaaaaaaard...?"

The squid just snored slightly. Spongebob sighed, putting his present on the floor. He climbed on the foot of the bed and sat of the bed so he was at Squidward's feet. "Squidwaaaard?" He whispered again. He inched closer so he was now on his stomach. "Squidward?" He said, slightly louder this time.

Suddenly he noticed his eyes opening slowly. Spongebob waved happily and Squidward smiledd slightly, thinking he was delusional. He suddenly froze and opened his eyes again. Seeing the Sponge on his stomach made him yell slightly. "Spongebob! What are you doing on my bed?"

"Well, you wouldn't wake up so..."

"And how did you get into my house?" The squid demanded.

"The door was unlocked." He said, smiling slightly. He was unphased by his neighbor's shock and surprise. He didn't know how awkward his positioning on the bed was. He was too innocent. "Oh! That reminds me!" He picked up his present off the floor and handed it to him. "Happy Birthday, Squid!"

"W-what?" Squidward stuttered. "How did you know..." He didn't even bother to finish, knowing he would get some stupefied answer. "Just get out!"

"But don't you want your-"

We suddenly see the outside of Squidward's house and hear him scream, "GET OUT!" The window smashes open, and Spongebob is hurled out, landing softly, being a sponge. His gift was still with him. He blinked, unsure of what he did wrong. He stood up, pride intact and waved at the direction of the window. "Ok, I'll just give it to you at work!"

He skipped happily in the direction of the Krusty Krab. The rock house at the end of the street suddenly lifted, revealing Patrick Star sticking onto it. "Hey Spongebob!" He called out to his best friend. Suddenly he felt his grip slipping and he crashed into his house below.

"Morning, Patrick!" Spongebob called, still continuing on his way. He couldn't wait to give Squidward his gift. He would love it. As he made his way to the Krusty Krab, he held onto the gift tightly.


	2. Squidward's Birthday

**The first installment to this lovely fic. Don't worry, the chapters will be longer soon enough.**

"Doo, doo, doo, doo," Spongebob hummed to himself as he happily flipped Krabby Patties on the grill. He was working at, what he thinks, is the best job in the world. Even though his boss is a cheap tightwad, he still loved working there.

"One cryin' johnny!" Spongebob cried, ringing the order bell multiple times to get Squidward's attention.

Squidward flinched at the sound and grabbed the plate, trying not to make eye contact with the sponge. But even after he took the patty, Spongebob continued to ring the bell. He tried to ignore it as he handed the customer his patty. "That'll be $2.99, sir." He muttered, wishing he was somewhere else right now.

The customer flinched at the sound of the bell and groaned. "What is that noise?" He asked, angry.

"Just ignore it, it'll stop eventually." He told the customer and himself.

The fish handed him the money and walked off to sit at a table. The bell continued to ring.

"Hey. Hey, Squidward?"

Squidward sighed and realized that he wouldn't stop unless he gave him the attention he wanted. He turned to him and groaned, "What IS it, Spongebob?" He made it clear how annoyed he was.

"Well, I was just wondering..." His eyes grew sparkly with anticipation. "Have you opened your present yet?"

Squidward glanced slightly at the wrapped mess he had stuffed at the bottom of the boat that was the cash register. "No." He said, turning back around.

"Oh, ok." Spongebob said. Then he tapped his head lightly. "You're gonna looooove it!" Then he went back to his flipping.

As the day continued on, every few hours or so, Spongebob would tap him lightly on the head, asking him the same question. He would always reply with a no, but that just boosted the pestering. Squidward had just about had it and when he finally thought he was going to go crazy, it finally was 8 o' clock.

He sighed happily and threw off his hat, not bothering to pick up the present. Spongebob noticed this and grabbed it and joined Squidward in their walk home. The squid didn't even care that he was beside him. He was just happy he was finally going home.

"So, that was a good day, huh?" Spongebob asked.

Squidward just nodded, keeping his eyes ahead.

Spongebob twirled his fingers as they walked, then poked his side.

"Yes?"

"W-well...you forgot this..." Spongebob held out the present.

Squidward wondered how he had found it, but it WAS Spongebob. And he always seemed to find some way to annoy him. "Oh, gee. Silly me." He said in monotone.

"Well, do you want it?" Spongebob asked.

Squidward rolled his eyes and grabbed Spongebob by the shoulders and turned him sharply to face him. Spongebob giggled slightly from the spinning but looked intent. "Spongebob, there are a LOT of things I wanted today. One, not to go to that wastebucket you and Mr Krabs call the Krusty Krab. Two, to have something better to do today than sit at a cash register. And three, not to be bothered by YOU."

Without saying anything else, he walked off.

Spongebob stared as his "friend" walked off into the night. Normally he would shake off Squidward's harsh comments, but that one hurt. He had gotten that specially for his birthday and he didn't even ask him to give him anything. Maybe he was in a bad mood. He still felt his spirits drop and didn't even call after him.

Suddenly he a sharp cry and then a blow to his back. He whipped around to see Sandy striking a pose in her green karate gear. He blinked slightly.

"Hey, Spongebob! Ready for some ka-ra-tay?" Sandy smiled as she striked another pose.

"I don't know about tonight, Sandy." Spongebob said, glancing slightly at the squid's disappearing figure sadly.

"Hey what's that?" Before he could stop her, she grabbed the present in his hands. "Who's this for?"

"Well-"

She unwrapped it. Her eyes shone in amazement at the clarinet. "Spongebob, this is beautiful!" She studied a bit, taking in every shiny detail. "Where did y'all get this?"

"I bought it." He replied.

"Who's it for?" She asked.

"S-Squidward." He felt a slight blush rise in his cheeks. "It was his birthday."

"Well, why didn't y'all give it to him durin' the day?"

He didn't answer. He felt a lump rise in his throat. He wouldn't cry over this. Squidward would get it tomorrow, and everything would be alright...

"Oh." She already knew why. "That's not nice of him."

"H-he was just grumpy, I guess." He murmured. '_Don't cry... Don't cry..._' He told himself as he fought to keep them away.

Sandy felt bad because she knew how much Spongebob liked him and wanted him to be his friend. He was too sweet and innocent to see that Squidward wanted nothing to do with him. She patted his soft head and smiled slightly. She couldn't tell him that. It would break him. And he wouldn't understand anyway. "Yeah, I'm sure. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Yeah.." He said sadly.

Sandy wrapped her arms around him, but didn't get one in return. She pulled back and stared at his depressed face. He wasn't usually like this. "Aww, c'mon, Sponge." She said. She put down the clarinet and pulled out her karate gear. "Hii-YAAAH!" She hit him on the side of his head, causing it to sink it and pop back out.

Spongebob sighed. "Not now, Sandy."

She didn't listen. "HII-YAAAH!" In a whirl, she chopped him left and right in a cloud of dust.

Spongebob tried to ignore her. "Sandy, please. Sandy. S-Sandy..." He began to smile slightly. He couldn't resist a karate fight with her. He pulled out his gear and they continued their fight for a couple hours.

After they finally stopped they both were laughing loudly, even Spongebob, who you wouldn't have thought ever was on the verge of crying before.

"Ahh..." Sandy sighed. "S-so, you wanna fight some more at the treedome?" She breathed heavily as she spoke.

"Sure! That sounds fun." Spongebob agreed happily. He struck a pose. "I'm gonna win this time."

"You sure about that Sponge-Brain?" She smiled, also striking a pose.

"As sure as my square pants." He said, and they both laughed loudly.

They walked down the road to Sandy's Treedome. But what neither of them noticed was that they left Squidward's clarinet sitting on the side of the road, the wrapping paper sprawled around it. Sandy


	3. Karate with a Squirrel

**Next installment. No this isn't a Spandy fic despite what I wrote. Keep reading, it will get better, trust me.**

"Ohh... That was fun..." Spongebob breathed after him and Sandy finally stopped their karate fight.

"Heck yeah..." Sandy agreed, huffing up and down before taking off her karate gear and setting it down on her bedside table. "So...did that make ya feel better?"

"About what?" He had also taken off his karate gear, and was now staring in question at her. He had completely forgotten.

"Oh...um...nevermind. Nothin." She said. She didn't want to upset him again, so she just kept quiet.

"Oh. Ok." He didn't even bother asking again. He was too happy after their fight. He sat down on her bed and lay down on the left side and sighed.

Sandy looked at his position on her bed for a moment. Then she noticed Spongebob patting the other side. "Wanna sit?" She felt a blush come across her cheeks and she continued to stare.

"Sandy?"

"Huh?" She snapped out of her trance. She felt herself become redder.

"You ok? You're all red." He commented, looking at her face intently.

"Huh? Oh...oh yeah!" She laughed slightly. "Sorry. What did ya say?"

"I said do you want to come sit with me?" He repeated.

"Uh, yeah sure." She stuttered, taking the right side of the bed. '_Pull yourself together Sandy ol' girl! Stop blushin, you can hold yourself together for one night..._' She thought.

She grew more hot as she felt his body up against hers. They were so close. And he was just sitting there idly, as if this wasn't weird at all. '_We're in the same bed, how is he not blushin'?_' She thought again.

He cleared his throat, which startled her for a minute. "Well, this was nice. Since, we haven't played together in a while."

"Yeah. Wanna come over again tomorrow?" She asked.

"After work I think I can." He said. "Oh nevermind, me and Patrick were gonna play tomorrow."

"Oh that's ok." She said, trying to not look disappointed. "What are y'all doin'?" She asked, trying to keep conversation going. She didn't know why, as they never had trouble holding a conversation, but today seemed different. Was it because of the Squidward thing?

"Oh we were just gonna drop by Squidward's house and-" His eyes widened and he sat up quickly. "Squidward! I completely forgot!" He jumped off the bed and got his karate gear quickly.

"Ok, so maybe..." She tried to ask him, but he was in a rush.

"In a couple days!" He shouted, running out the door. "Bye, Sandy!"

Sandy watched him run towards his street in a hurry. Slightly sad, she walked back inside her treedome and sighed with longing.

"Squidward!" Spongebob yelled as he ran down the road to his home. "S-S-Squidward!" He grew tired easily because of the fight from earlier, but he continued on. When he finally reached his door, he didn't bother knocking. He just burst through the door and followed the sound of his clarinet playing. He ended up in his art room and slammed against the wall, as he had been running so fast.

Squidward stopped playing abruptly and sighed when he noticed Spongebob against the wall. "Spongebob, what do you want?" He groaned, setting down his clarinet on the table beside him.

"Oh, Squidward..." He quickly got up. "I...I forgot to give you..." He started searching his pockets for the present, but his eyes widened when he remembered he had left it on the side of the road.

"Spongebob, if this is about that present, I told you, I DON'T want it." He said, watching Spongebob feverishly searching his pockets.

"No...it's here...somewhere..." He said, cursing himself that he had forgotten it.

"Oh, that's GREAT." He began to push Spongebob out of the room. "Now get out of my house."

"Wait, Squid, I can go find..." He began.

"No! How many times to I have to say it?" Squidward had turned his body to face him. "I. Do not. Want a gift. From you!"

Spongebob blinked. "Why?"

He groaned. _'Why can't he take a hint?_' He thought in agony. "Because." He picked up the sponge and went down the stairs and set him in the doorway. "Now GO."

"Because why?" He asked.

"Because I don't want a present from you!" He yelled, trying to put more emphasis into his words so he would get the message.

"But...it didn't look like you had any from other people." Spongebob said, looking slightly sympathetic.

"I do." He lied. He had truly only gotten one from his mother. Something he didn't even want. But he still attempted to look as angry as possible. "You just didn't see them. Now please...LEAVE." He pointed a tentacle to his pineapple house.

Spongebob felt bad, but nonetheless he knew Squidward's anger would boil over at some point, so he just happily said, "Ok! I'll just give something to you tomorrow!" And he ran to his house.

"N-no, Spongebob!" Squidward tried to stop him, but he had already gone inside his house. He sighed and went back inside his own, making sure to lock his doors in case he decided to come back. '_Why does he even BOTHER if he knows I don't like him... Same reason as always. He just loves annoying you._" He rubbed his temples in frustration and went upstairs to go to bed.

"Alright Gary, I messed up this time." Spongebob said to his snail as he searched his house again. "But I know I can find something else if I just look hard enough..." He went through his room hurriedly.

"Meow." Gary mewed as he slithered his way over to his owner.

"Hmm...I know! Squid likes art, so I could paint something for him!" He pulled out a piece of paper and some paints.

"Meow..."

"I WAS a great artist in high school, Gary!" Spongebob retorted as he began sketching.

Gary rolled his eyes and pulled out a messy slob of a picture from his treasure chest bureau. "Mreow.?"

Spongebob glared and threw away the paper he was working with. "Oh, and you think you can do better?"

Gary erased what was on the paper and drew feverishly with an eye stalk for a few moments, then handed him a detailed picture of himself to the sponge and smiled in victory.

"Ok, you got me..." Spongebob groaned. "Ohh...face it, Gary. I can't make something for Squidward. I can't even find anything..." He slumped sadly.

Gary felt bad for him, as he knew how much he wanted to make Squidward happy, even if his friendly attitude was rejected. He slithered downstairs quickly to his cat bed next to Spongebob's tv, and lifted it to reveal a treasure trove of incredible items. Great works of art, gems, and others. He quickly grabbed a shiny item and hid it under his shell and slithered back upstairs.

He tapped Spongebob with his eyestalk and meowed. He looked up sadly and Gary pulled out a shiny, gold clarinet that shimmered beautifully in the moonlight.

Spongebob's eyes glowed as he took it in his hands. "Wooooow! G-Gary, where did you-"

Gary grabbed it from him and played a few notes on the instrument that sounded absolutely beautiful. He handed it back to Spongebob and he stared at it in awe. "Squidward will love this! Thanks buddy!" He hugged his snail tightly. The poor creature groaned but smiled at his owner's happiness. After a while he started squeezing too tight and he could tell, so he let his snail go.

He grabbed more wrapping paper and carefully wrapped it. He then put a label on it that said,

"_Sorry about today, Squidward. I hope you like it._

_ Love, Spongebob"_

He set it down at the end of his bed and climbed into bed and set his alarm. "Wait'll Squid sees an eyeful of that..." He whispered to his snail before drifting off to sleep.


	4. That flower was evil! Evil I tell you!

**First chapter with sort-of Patbob-ness in it. Plus some one-sided Squidbob. **

"And then we played karate for hours! I think for the whole afternoon maybe." Spongebob swung his jellyfish net as he attempted to catch one, but failing for once. It was late afternoon, and he was telling Patrick about the events of the day before at Jellyfish Fields.

"That sounds fun." Patrick said, keeping his eye on a jellyfish that was buzzing around his head. "I was wondering where you were."

"Why? I'm always busy after work."

"Because it was Squid's birthday, and I thought we had planned to celebrate it with him together." Patrick reminded him, swatting all around him with his jellyfish net, still failing to catch the creature.

Spongebob slapped his forehead. "Ohh... I'm sorry Patrick, I've been so fogged up in the head lately..." He gave an apologetic look to his best friend.

But Patrick was still focused on the jellyfish flying around him. He grunted in irritation as he swung his net. Spongebob looked on in wonderment. "Pat, did you hear me?"

No response as the starfish swung harder. "Grr...Get over here you..."

"Patrick?"

"I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you!"

"_Patrick!_"

Patrick stopped at the sound of Spongebob's yell and he stopped in his tracks and fell to the ground. He was about to get up when the jellyfish buzzed and stung him on the back, to which he yelped out in pain.

"Pat, you ok?" Spongebob asked, coming over to his side as he wailed.

Patrick lifted up his head from the grass and smiled wobbly. "Yep. I almost got one that time..." He giggled before returning his head to the grass.

Spongebob sighed. "So, did you hear what I said?"

"Uh, nope sorry."

Spongebob blinked. He shouldn't be annoyed. He always had to explain things over and over to his slow best friend. But today he was overly agitated for some reason. "I said, I've been feeling fogged up in my head lately." He sat down on the grass next to Patrick's head and laid down his jellyfishing net.

"Really? That's how I always feel!" Patrick exclaimed matter o factly, sitting up now, rubbing the spot on his back where he had gotten stung.

Spongebob just gave him a weary look. Patrick knew when he touched a soft spot so he decided to changed what he was about to say next to something more helpful. "Why do you feel like that?"

Spongebob shook his head. "Something happened this morning when I tried to give Squidward his birthday present..." He murmured, thinking back.

"You even gave him a present without me?" Patrick asked, not looking hurt though, more intrigued. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He said lowly.

Patrick elbowed him. "Aww come on. You can tell your best friend!"

Spongebob sighed. "Alright... So it all started this morning..."

_"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!" Spongebob chanted as he skipped merrily out of his pineapple and headed down the street. He was carrying the golden clarinet in his arm as he went down the street. He put on his work hat and he walked up to Squidward's door and knocked loudly. "Ohhhh, Squidwaaaaaaard!" He called out in a melodic voice._

_He heard an irritated groan from inside. Then some loud thumping. Then the lock clicking. And then Squidward opened the door, eyelids drooping. He was still in his pink flannel pajamas, beat-up looking from just waking up. He eyed Spongebob with his tired eyes. "What is it?" He asked plainly, as if he didn't even care that he had appeared on his front door for no reason. He was too exhausted._

_"Wow, Squidward, you sure look tired. You ready for work?" Spongebob asked gleely, looking over his appearence. _

_Squidward yawned loudly. "I don't work on Sundays, remember?" He said._

_Spongebob's face fell, the thought of himself requesting Mr. Krabs to work on Sundays popping into his mind. He didn't usually work on them either, but he had done it just for the fun of it. Last week in fact. Immediately he was regretting his decision. "Oh, right..." He brightened up quickly, however. "Well, I'll miss you at work." _

_"Yeah, well, I won't miss you here." Squidward muttered, ready to shut the door._

_Spongebob shook off the hurtful comment, as he always did, and stopped him. "Wait, Squidward!" He held out the present for him wrapped in purple velvet and tied with a gold ribbon. A large 'S' surrounded by a heart was sewn into it. He smiled brightly as he held out his hands._

_Squidward glared. "Spongebob..." He could feel the blood rush to his head._

_"I know it's late, but I REALLY wanted you to have it..." He said, and he put it in his tentacles._

_"What. Did. I tell you. Last. Night...?" The squid said through gritted teeth._

_"Umm...Dahahaha! I can't remember. You tell me."_

_"I told you...not to bring me a present." He said, face scrunching up in anger. "Four times, in fact. But did you listen? Of course not. Because you can't get it through your thick skull...that I DO NOT AND WILL NEVER LIKE YOU!" And with that, he threw the present at Spongebob, which hit him in the face and with Spongebob weighing less than a pound, it knocked him down on the sand. "So, you can take that with you... Because..." He leaned in the sponge's face. "I. DO NOT. WANT IT!" And he slammed the door with an ear shattering boom, leaving Spongebob laying on the sand, a golden clarinet denting his face, tears forming in his eyes. _

"...And then I just decided to skip work. I didn't feel like it." He muttered at last.

Patrick looked shocked, as Spongebob never missed day of work in his life, nor did he ever deliberately try to. "I can't believe that...you would skip a day of work! That's so unlike you, Spongebob!"

Spongebob looked at him tiredly. He didn't get why he was so depressed. Just the thought of being rejected was enough to get him emotional.

Patrick then put his arm around him. "You know, he doesn't know what he's missing. I mean, if _you _gave _me_ a golden clarinet, I'd be pretty impressed..." He mused, eyes shining.

"It's not the clarinet, Patrick!" Spongebob exclaimed, getting quite frustrated. "I just...I don't know, I wanted to make him happy on his birthday."

"But we always make him happy!" Patrick said. "Don't we?"

"Yeah, I guess..."

"He's probably just in a bad mood." Patrick said, patting him on the back. "Y'know you can't take things so hard all of the time."

Spongebob raised an eyebrow. "Oh, and you don't?"

"What are you talking about?" He truly looked puzzled.

"Last week you cried for an hour after you stubbed your toe on a SEA FLOWER." Spongebob said, recalling how much comforting he had had to go through that day to make the starfish stop his blubbering.

"Hey, that really hurt!" The star protested. "That flower was evil! It came out of nowhere..." He began to look wary as he noticed one blowing with the current right next to him.

Spongebob sighed once again. "Sure it did, Pat." He began to ponder over what Patrick had said before. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I _do _take things too hard." A whiplash of memories of tear-filled moments bombarded him. Looking back now, he wondered why he had even shed a tear from things so trivial. "What do you think I should do?"

There was no answer. "Patrick? Patrick?" He turned to see the spot once occupied by his friend was now empty. He was out in the distance, destroying all the sea flowers in his path, screaming like a maniac.

Sudden anger rushed through Spongebob, as he had wanted advice from his best friend. And he had just walked away like that. It was at times like this that he wondered how he tolerated him.

Looking at the sky now, the sun was beginning to set. The water became slightly warmer as it did and the colors looked like beautiful pastels. He whimpered dejectingly, picking up his jellyfishing net, and headed towards home.


	5. Friendly Apologies

**These early chapters really could be written better. They get better after this chapter, trust me..**

"Sorry Sandy, I have work today." Spongebob told his friend over the phone as he straightens his red tie and puts on his black shoes. Sandy had called him earlier that morning to see if he was free that afternoon to come over once again. Spongebob was less than in the mood to do so. What with both of his best friends either ignoring him or being completely unhelpful.

"Oh, that's alright Spongebob." Sandy said from the other end, getting out of bed herself. "Maybe if yer not busy after work?"

"Umm...Mr. Krabs is making me work late again.." Spongebob lied, voice shaking. He wasn't good at deceiving people.

"Ok then. Just give me a call and I'll be over!" Sandy said cheerfully, trying to hide her disppointment.

"I sure will, Sandy." Spongebob slipped on his hat and began to head towards the door. "See ya."

"Adios!" Click.

Spongebob put the phone down and headed outside. The sea was turning cooler as winter began to approach. He shivered slightly and put his hands in the pockets of his pants to warm them.

As he walked by Squidward's house, he could hear him humming to classical music as he got ready. He was almost tempted to go over just to say hi, but after yesterday...

He took and deep breath in and forced himself to walk forward. He would have to see him at work anyway. And he would have to walk home with him.

As he continued, he heard the creak of Patrick's rock opening. He hung onto the top half. "Good morning, Spongebob!"

Spongebob stopped in his tracks. "I'm not talking to you, Patrick." He said coldly.

"Huh?" There was automatically a drop of cheeriness in his voice as he fell from the rock into his house below.

Spongebob watched this with unamused eyes before walking towards the Krusty Krab. Then he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He ignored it at first, but then suddenly he was picked up and spun around harshly by Patrick. Now facing him, he could see the concern in the starfish's eyes.

"Why aren't you talking to me?" He asked, breathing up and down heavily.

"Because, I asked for your help yesterday..." Spongebob stated, turning around and folding his arms. "And all you did was go on a rampage trying to destroy SEA FLOWERS!" He whipped around to glare at him.

"Hey, those things were mocking m-" He tried to defend.

"I needed to talk to someone, but you just ignored me." Spongebob said, turning around again."I always help YOU when you're depressed, but you never help ME."

He heard Patrick whimper from behind him. "I-I didn't mean to..." He muttered.

Spongebob could just see the tears welling up in his eyes. It broke him, thinking that he was making someone cry, especially his best friend. He tried to keep himself strong. "I thought that best friends were supposed to help each other.." He murmured.

Patrick ran up to him so they were eye to eye. "I will, buddy! Next time you need help, I'll help you!" He could see tears in his eyes. He always got worked up when his friendships were in jeopardy.

Spongebob forced himself to turn away but his unamused, straight smile began to curl downward as he listened to Patrick hit the asphalt and sob loudly. "Patrick." He said, rolling his eyes. Then he turned around to see the broken look on the star's face as he sobbed. "Patrick..." His voice began to break. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Al-alright, FINE I FORGIVE YOU!" He yelled, letting out a few stray tears himself.

Patrick stopped short and leaped up from the ground, grin wide on his face. "Y-you do?"

"Yes-" Before he could explain, he was crushed and suffocated by Patrick's stomach as he was held tightly. He couldn't breath. He waved his arms around. "Patrick...Patrick!" He yelled, muffled.

"Yeah?" He heard him say from above him.

"I can't breathe."

"Oop. Sorry." He let go of him, putting him back down on the ground, smiling sheepishly. At some points, he really didn't know his own strength. "So...you're not mad at me?"

"Well, I was." Spongebob said, feeling slightly ashamed he got so worked up over something so simple. "I'm sorry."

He half expected Patrick to tell him not to be sorry. But being Patrick, he didn't quite get the message. "Oh, phew! I thought I was the one who needed to apologize for a minute there..." He smiled. "Friends?"

Spongebob sighed. "BEST friends." He corrected.

Patrick grinned and before he could stop him, he was pulled into another bone crushing hug. This time he was pulled above his stomach, so he could breathe.

Then he heard a door open. Squidward was about to walk outside to go to work, when he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the two hugging. He looked appalled. "Could you two be more disgusting?" He asked rhetorically.

"I can." Patrick answered, a sly grin on his face as he squeezed the sponge tighter.

"Fascinating." Squidward muttered.

Spongebob could feel his lower body being compressed. "Patrick...can you let me down...?" He asked, raspily as his breath was leaving him.

Patrick gladly let him go, but being taller than him, his fall to the ground was not pleasant. His face collided with the road, but he quickly shook it off. "Welp, I gotta get to work." He put his hat back on that had fallen on the ground and began to walk down the road. "See you after work, best friend!" He cried out cheerily before laughing loudly.

"I'll be waiting, best friend!" And he guffawed before returning to his rock.

Squidward groaned. "Why must I live next to such annoying neighbors..." He muttered, before reluctantly walking down the road as well.

Noticing this, Spongebob slowed down a bit just so Squidward could catch up to him. Once he did, he cleared his throat. "So...Squidward?"

"What?" He didn't look at him. He just kept staring ahead at the Krusty Krab.

"Um...I just wanted to...apologize for what happened..." He said, barely audible, not wanting to make the squid mad again. "With the present and all..."

"Spongebob, we are NOT discussing this." Squidward stated, looking at him in the eye with a hateful glare.

"But, I was just apologizing."

Squidward sighed loudly, but didn't say anything else. Spongebob waited patiently for a response, but after a while of nothing, he took it as a sign that Squidward was indeed ignoring him. Sighing, he just walked on ahead of him, not bothering to look back. Squidward was extremely surprised at this, but didn't say a word, as it gave him a few minutes of not being bothered by him.


	6. Defending the Helpless

Spongebob silently flipped Krabby Patties. It was surprisingly quiet today. Not just because he wasn't being as obnoxious as usual, but because there were barely any customers in the restaurant. Only about a dozen had come in since eight o' clock(now being around noon). Two now sat at a table, sipping their sodas in the silence. Other than that, all he could hear was the sizzling of the patties on the grill.

He turned his attention to Squidward, who had his head leaned up against the frame of the window, reclined in the cashier boat. He was reading an issue of "Boring Science Digest", flipping the pages with a look of discontent on his face.

'_I don't want him to ignore me... I hate it when he does...'_ He thought to himself as he stared out the window, getting lost in his own world. '_But if I say something, he'll just get angry. But if I don't he may never speak to me again!'_ He could feel himself getting worked up, and he took deep breaths to relax himself. Being slightly OCD, he was prone to worrying about the simplest things like this. And he could never get it out of his head unless the problem was resolved. He continued to take slow breaths, as this was what always relaxed him when he was like this.

'_I really hope he doesn't hate me. All I was doing was trying to make him happy... Why doesn't he see that I care about him?'_ He continued to think, eyes glazed as he stared. '_He always complains that nobody does, but I do. And I'm right in front of him...'_

"Spongebob, I need a Krabby Patty with cheese."

Spongebob almost jumped out of his pants as he was startled by the squid. He had really been out of it. He looked up with nervous eyes at him, trying to recover. "H-huh? What?"

"I said I need-" He stopped himself to look down at the grill below him. "Spongebob?"

"Y-yeah?" He tried to maintain a calm tone in his voice, but he could feel his hands shaking.

"The patties are burning." He stated, pointing to the grill below him.

Spongebob looked down in horror at the black smoke that was rising from the grill. "The patties!" In a panic he grabbed a fire extinguisher from the corner of the room and sprayed it on the grill in a frenzy. When the smoke cleared, he looked to see all that was left of the patties were little stubs of coal like objects. His eyes welled up as he grabbed them in his hands and looked at them shamefully. "The poor patties!" He cried out, sobbing sadly.

Squidward couldn't help but smile at the scene that had just taken place. Even though he always acted as if he was annoyed with the sponge's care for the restaurant, he always thought it was kind of humorous. Like his life depended on making each patty perfect for each and every customer. He had an amazing heart.

Spongebob sighed and threw the coal into the wastebasket behind him. Then he caught Squidward's eye, and his smile. "What are you smiling about?" He asked, returning to the grill.

Squidward quickly shook it away and reverted back to his original state. "Er...nothing.." A slight blush went across his face. "Anyways, I need a Krabby Patty with cheese." He said, before returning back to his place.

Spongebob blinked. '_He was smiling at me? Maybe he isn't mad at me...' _He took a deep breath before grabbing a raw patty and putting it on the grill. '_Patrick's right. I shouldn't worry so much... Even though I can't help it...' _

After he finishes the patty, he brings it out to the customer, now with a smile on his face. He wasn't going to let his worries get the better of him. "Here you go, sir! Made with 100% pure love!" He blew a kiss onto the Krabby Patty and smiled lovingly at the fish.

As he headed back, running almost, he suddenly felt his foot get caught on something. He flew through the air, as he had been walking pretty fast, and he slammed into the wall next to the door that led back to the kitchen. It took him a few seconds to register what had just happened before he heard the laughs of the customers in the restaurant. Obviously finding the situation hilarious. He held his head, that took most of the impact and groaned.

Then he noticed a tentacle reaching out towards him. He blinked a few times to clear his eyes and he saw Squidward standing above him. He was holding out his tentacle for him to take.

"Well, do you want my help or not?" The squid asked impatiently.

Spongebob finally took it and he stumbly got to his feet, feeling slightly dizzy. "Ooh..." He held his head, which now had a good sized blueish/blackish lump on it.

"You ok?" Squidward asked, looking slightly concerned as he looked at the bump.

"Y-yeah, I think..." He murmured. "What did I trip on?"

"A rusty nail, or something.." Squidward muttered. "Probably because Mr. Krabs doesn't bother to replace the floorboards."

Spongebob nodded slightly before noticing the customers were still laughing at the display. He blushed bright red at this, as he had been publicly humiliated at the Krusty Krab more times than he could count.

"Ignore them."

"Huh?" He looked up at Squidward to see he was now looking out at the customers with a slight glare.

"Ignore them, I said." He repeated. "You don't need those bottom feeder's opinions." He then walked back over to the cashier boat to sit down and read his magazine.

'_Squidward defended me...'_ Spongebob thought, now blocking out all background noise. He smiled to himself. '_I knew I was worrying too much!'_ He was relieved to know his neighbor wasn't completely ignoring him.

"Are you going to go back to the grill? We have more customers." Squidward said from the boat, in monotone.

"Yeah, sorry." He replied, saluting.

And as he entered the kitchen, he heard a customer take an order than stifle some giggles. "Did you just see the idiot that tripped over the nail?" He asked, presumably Squidward, laughing with what sounded like another girl fish.

The next reply came from Squidward. "It's none of my business or yours, so shut up." He could picture Squidward glaring at the customer. "What if everyone in this restaurant laughed at YOU if you slammed face first into a concrete wall?"

The fish muttered disapprovingly. "Just give me my Krabby Patty."

His heart fluttered as he now flipped patties with extra exuberance. All worries of his and Squidward's friendship left his mind completely as he happily gave the squid the rude fish's order. Not even when fish made snide comments towards him did he get upset. He had that moment to keep him going through the day.

It was now eight o' clock at night, and Spongebob was locking up the Krusty Krab, humming as he took his time turning the key.

"Come on, Spongebob... I'd like to get home, now!" Squidward complained from behind him.

"Almost ready, Squidward!" He called back. He turned to the Krusty Krab, tucking the keys in his pocket. His eyes lit up brightly as he stared at the building above him. "Until tomorrow, I salute you and your amazingly delicious Krabby Patties!"

Squidward groaned. "Spongebob..."

"Coming!" And he skipped over to where Squidward had been waiting for him, and they began their walk home together.

"Well, that was uneventful." Squidward muttered, referring to their day of work.

"Are you kidding? That was one of the best days of work I've ever had!" Spongebob exclaimed happily.

Squidward scoffed. "You say the same thing every time we walk home." He said.

"I have a lot of good days, I guess." Spongebob said plainly.

"I've noticed."

"Oh, I forgot to thank you." Spongebob remembered.

"For?"

"Helping me up and defending me.."

Squidward gave him a look. "When did I defend you?"

"I heard a customer come up to you and say something about me, and then you said-"

"I don't remember this." Squidward cut him off quickly.

"I know you said it." Spongebob insisted.

"I don't think I did." He turned his head away from him.

"Yes, you said this EXACTLY." He poked Squidward to make sure he was listening, and he pulled his nose down to elongate it to the size of Squidward's. He yanked out his belt and tied it around him to form the shape of his head, and then grew two more legs(being a sponge) and formed them like tentacles. He then gave a sarcastic look, eyes slanted in an uncaring way. "It's none of my business or yours, so shut up. What if everyone in this restaurant laughed at YOU if you slammed face first into a concrete wall?" He spoke in a voice that sounded amazingly like Squidward's. Then he giggled like he usually did.

Squidward looked on, astonished at how well he could do the impression and how much he looked like him. He then folded his arms. "So what if I did say it?" He wondered.

"I was just saying thank you." Spongebob said, smiling. He still kept his "costume" on, despite his impression being over. "But...if you did say it...then why did you say you didn't?" He asked.

Squidward felt a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead. "I-I just forgot..." He quickly covered. He was secretly embarrassed to admit to Spongebob that he had intentionally done that for him. It wasn't a strong suit of his to admit his liking to others. He didn't always outwardly express himself.

"Oh. Well thanks anyways!" Spongebob said, oblivious to what he was trying to hide. He laughed in a Squidward like manor, nose inflating and deflating as he did.

Annoyed, Squidward grabbed Spongebob's nose in his tentacle. "Stop doing that." He demanded.

Spongebob laughed in his regular way, nasal from the tight grip he had. "Sorry, Squid."

"And take off your belt. You don't need to impersonate me." He let go of Spongebob's nose.

"Why? I like impersonating you." He smiled brightly.

Squidward sighed. "Whatever."

As they approached their homes, Spongebob turned to say one last thing. "So, Squidward... Are you still...mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" Squidward asked, then realizing how that sounded. "Besides all of the usual reasons..." He added.

Spongebob blushed. "You know..."

Squidward then remembered. "No, Spongebob. Ok? Does that make you happy?"

Spongebob lit up immediately. "Yes! Oh, Squidward, I thought you hated me!" He cried, relieved.

"I do hate you." Squidward muttered, sighing knowing full well the sponge wouldn't understand that.

Spongebob smiled, feeling like this was a good time to make an offer again if Squidward wasn't mad at him. He pulled it out from his back pocket. "So, you DO want it?"

Squidward slapped his forehead, knowing he should have expected this. But he didn't feel like straining himself yelling at the sponge anymore. He knew if he just took it, he would be a step closer to going to bed and resting finally. He sighed. "Fine, I'll take it."

Spongebob gasped excitedly and bit his lip hard as he smiled. He handed it to Squidward, and unknowing of it's weight, almost dropped it into the sand. "What's in this thing?" He asked, picking it up with effort.

"Open it! Open it!" Spongebob cheered.

Squidward sighed. "I'll open it tomorrow, I need to get some sleep." He rubbed his tired eyes and headed for his house.

Spongebob's face slightly. "Squid-Don't you want to open it now?"

"Tomorrow, Spongebob!" He called back, opening his door and slamming it shut.

Spongebob smiled, happy that he had at least taken it. He couldn't wait to see his neighbor's face when he found out what it was. "Ok, see you tomorrow, Squidward!" He called, running into his pineapple house, clicking his heels with joy as he did.

Inside Squidward's house, he looked at the velvet covered gift in question. Did he really want to open it? Or was he going to be disappointed by a stupid gift that only Spongebob would want?

Too tired to decide, he put the gift up on the shelf above his fireplace and walked up the stairs to finally go to sleep. Only awaiting another Sponge-filled day in the morning.

Spongebob now yanked the belt free from himself and put on his new green flannel p.j's with a matching cap. He had bought them to match Squidward's when he had invited him over once for a sleepover.(When really it was because Squidward had lost a bet against him)

He headed up to his room and settled in his bed. He smiled at his snail, who was slithering over to his bed now. "Oh, Gary, today was a good day. Squidward finally took his present." He lifted the covers over himself.

"Mreow..." Gary meowed, rolling his eyes, as if to say it was about time.

"Tomorrow's gonna be even better when he opens it.." He sighed contently at the thought. He then leaned down and kissed Gary on the eye stalk and snuggled into his pillow. "Good night my little angel."


	7. Date Mechanics by Patrick Star

_ Ze next day..._

Spongebob was awoken once again by his loud foghorn alarm clock. It was around the volume of a motorcycle, but he was always oblivious to it, being so upbeat all the time. He clicked it off and happily changed into his squarepants and began to walk to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Then something at the window caught his eye.

He flew over to it to see the ground covered in around a foot and a half of snow, the little flakes still falling. His eyes widened and he gasped. "Gary, it's snowing!" He cried out excitedly.

He quickly rushed down the stairs and turned on the t.v. to the news channel, looking for the school closings. Every Tuesday he skipped work in the morning to go to boating school. He always anticipated snow days.

"And due to the amount of snow and ice covering the roads, there will be no school for any district in Bikini Bottom, including all driving districts and otherwise." Perch Perkins said from the t.v., as he stood in the middle of downtown Bikini Bottom, adorned with a heavy coat and scarf as the wind blew by.

"Ya-HOO!" Spongebob cried out joyfully, excited for a day of playing in the snow. Winter was his second-favorite season, and he always anticipated the first day of snow.

He rushed back upstairs to put on his red and white snow hat and coat, mittens, and boots. When he was all ready, he ran back down to turn on his tea kettle for tea and hot chocolate later. He was about to go out the door to greet Patrick, when all of a sudden, the phone next to his t.v. rang.

He picked it up in a flash. "Hello?"

"Howdy, Spongebob!"

"Oh, hiya Sandy!" Spongebob greeted, happy to hear her voice.

"So, are y'all ready to go snowboardin' on Sand Mountain?" She had her shell shaped board under her arm in her tree dome.

"Oh, that sounds like fun, Sandy-"

Suddenly his door fell down with a boom, and Patrick, wearing just his Hawaiian shorts, stood, arms filled with snowballs. He laughed maniacally as he started to raise his hand to throw one at the distracted sponge.

Seeing this, Spongebob rushed to finish the conversation. "But I'm kinda already busy with, Patrick today!" He was about to hang up.

"But we always go snowboardin' on the first day of-"

Patrick threw one at Spongebob's side and he shrieked as he dodged it at the perfect time. "'stomorrow?Soundsgreat,bye!" He said in a quick pace before slamming it down on the receiver and jumping to avoid another snowball.

Patrick continued to throw square-shaped, triangle-shaped, and even DNA-shaped snowballs at Spongebob, all missing because of his quick reflexes. The two were laughing loudly as they ran throughout Spongebob's house, and eventually they raced out into their front yards.

Spongebob quickly formed some snowballs himself and threw them forcefully, all of which Patrick managed to dodge, despite being an easy target. He finally threw one large one at the star that managed to graze by his leg. Spongebob laughed. "Are you a fool, Pink Menace? You cannot defeat the awesome power of-" He was cut off by a snowball that slammed him in the face causing him to fall into the snow.

Patrick fell in a heap of laughter. "Who's the fool now, Spongeboob?" He shouted, laughing even harder.

Wiping the snow from his face, Spongebob grimaced at that nickname. He quickly formed a large cannon and loaded it up with huge snowballs. Patrick hadn't even noticed that he had gotten up, still guffawing on the ground. Spongebob lit the fuse that for some reason worked underwater, and with a boom, a snowball flew out and walloped Patrick. He was buried in it.

Spongebob jumped from the cannon and stood in front of it defiantly. "Still you, Patrick!" He called giggling. He forgot that the cannon was still firing snowballs, and he was hit with one from the back. He screamed as he was flung into the mound of snow Patrick was trapped under. The force blew them both farther away.

Opening his eyes he saw that he was right on top of Patrick's belly, and the two began to laugh like maniacs as they fell over into the snow.

Squidward, who was inside lighting a fire due to the drop of heat in his house, grumbled in annoyance and walked upstairs and stuck his head out of the window to see the display that was going on. He groaned at the sight of the snow, as he absolutely despised shoveling. But he focused on the matter at hand. "Spongebob! Patrick! What are you two nincompoops doing THIS time?" He demanded.

Spongebob noticed his friend from the window and grinned. "Hi, Squidward! We're having a snowball fight!" He called.

"I'm winning!" Patrick added, smiling widely.

"Oh that's wonderful.. Do you think you could possibly tone it down a little?" He said, rubbing his temples.

"I can't help it, I was born naturally loud!" Patrick informed him.

"More like born naturally an imbecile..." Squidward muttered to himself and he chuckled at his own "brilliant" joke.

"Wanna join us?" Spongebob offered, the two of them coming to stand directly below his window.

Squidward scoffed. "After last time? You left me all alone out there!" He said, glaring at the memory.

"I came and found you." Spongebob pointed out, as Patrick had been oblivious to the whole thing after he left Spongebob's that day.

"Yeah, after seven hours..." He muttered again.

"C'mon, Squid! There's nothing wrong with three best friends just throwing snowballs at each other on a cold winter day!" He put his arm around Patrick and giggled.

"You'll never know how wrong that statement sounded, Spongebob." Squidward said.

"Well, if you change your mind, we'll be out here!" Spongebob called, about to turn away.

Patrick tapped his arm lightly and whispered something to him and the two began to giggle mischievously.

Squidward looked on in question, but realized it was better not to ask. "Whatever." He said, returning downstairs to sit in front of the fire, dreading the shoveling he would have to do.

He then heard a knock at the door, followed by some quiet giggling. He sighed and got up. He spoke as he opened the door. "Spongebob, I already told you I-" He was suddenly hit in the face with a snowball.

"ATTACK!" Patrick shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Wha?" Before he could say anything, the two began to throw the icy stuff at him at a fast pace, completely burying him in a pile of snow. He tried to see what was going on, but the snow blurred his vision. The two friends huffed loudly as they bombarded him with snowballs. Finally they ran out and fell on the floor in a heap of giggles.

Squidward popped his head out of the four foot mound he was buried in and gasped for water. He looked around in a panic, traumatized by what had just happened. His eyes caught Spongebob and Patrick and he glared furiously. "Spongebob... Patrick..." He said through gritted teeth.

Patrick heard this and his eyes widened. "He's back up!" He yelled, and he raced for outside.

"Huh?" Spongebob didn't react as fast and before he knew it, he was held tight in the squid's grip. He smiled sheepishly. "Heheh...hehee..." He laughed nervously, trying not to look him in the eye as he was held.

"If you so much as come near me with a single snowball..." The squid threatened. "I will personally throw you straight into the Bikini Bottom abyss!"

"Y-yes... Squidward..." He said, nervously.

"Now, get out of my house." Squidward set him down and pointed towards the door.

He was about to before he noticed his present from before on the mantle above his fireplace. "Hey, is that my present?" He said, pointing to it.

Squidward sighed. "Yeah."

"You haven't opened it yet?"

"No, I haven't."

"Can you-"

"Later." He finished his sentence for him and picked him up and placed him outside and shut the door.

"Ok, Squidward! Let me know what you think of it!" He called to him through the door.

Spongebob slipped on his special fuzzy socks and rubbed his hands together as he lit the fire near his t.v. He gave Patrick a blanket before he went to the kitchen to pour them both some hot chocolate. He added four marshmallows and a cinnamon stick as a special touch. He carried them to the couch where Patrick sat and handed him one. He then turned on the t.v. to "The New Adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy" and sat down next to him.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Patrick jumped in his seat a little bit. "Is this the episode where Barnacleboy joins the E.V.I.L. force with the Dirty Bubble and Man Ray?"

Spongebob sighed but smiled. "Patrick, I've already told you, that wasn't an episode. That actually happened.."

"Yeah, right, Spongebob... Only in your fantasy world..." He laughed at this, thinking he was the smarter one in this situation.

And he always got the same response every time he told him. "So who were you talking to this morning?" His friend asked.

"Sandy. Before you attacked me with snowballs."

"Oh. Why?"

"She asked me to go snowboarding, but I told her we had plans." He took a sip of his hot chocolate.

Patrick gasped suddenly and hit Spongebob in the back, causing him to spit out what was in his mouth onto the sand. He glared. "Now look what you made me do, Patrick!" He complained, going to the kitchen to look for something to wipe it with.

Patrick grabbed him to stop him. "Do you know what you've done, Spongebob?" He demanded, eyes wide.

"Made my carpet dirty for one." He said, glaring, annoyed.

"No!" He cried. "Don't you know this, Spongebob? If a girl calls to make plans you ALWAYS have to say yes!"

"But we were busy..." Spongebob said, confused at what he was getting at. "Having a snowball fight.."

"That doesn't matter to them!" Patrick said, referring to females. "I would know, since that's how I lost..." His eyes welled up and he sobbed. "MINDY!" He hung his head over.

Spongebob solemnly patted his head sympathetically. He recalled the day after they had returned the crown to King Neptune, and how Mindy had completely rejected Patrick after he had forgotten about her. He hadn't meant to, but his brain was around the size of a kiwi, and only about 1/4 of it could retain memory. At least that's what Squidward had told them one day.

"But...what does this have to do with me and Sandy?" Spongebob wondered.

Patrick lifted his head and dried his tears, quickly remembering what they were just talking about. "Oh, oh yeah..." His eyes widened and he grabbed Spongebob by the shoulders. "You've got to call her, Spongebob! Or else she'll leave you forever!" He fell back down on the ground in a fit of sobs.

Spongebob looked concerned. He certainly didn't want Sandy to hate him. He hadn't meant to hang up on her. He had an excuse, didn't he?

Patrick grabbed his leg from the floor dramatically. "Go, Spongebob! Go now!" He cried and fell back down crying.

Spongebob, now extremely worried, rushed to the phone by the t.v. and quickly dialed Sandy's number. He rocked on his heels and paced around the room as the phone buzzed. "C'mon... C'mon... Pick up!"

"Hello?" He finally heard Sandy's voice.

"Oh my gosh, Sandy, thank Neptune!" Spongebob cried. "I'm so, so sorry about hanging up on you this morning, it was completely by accident! See, Patrick came up from behind me and started throwing snowballs at me, and we kinda got caught up in it, and I was going to call you...just PLEASE don't hate me!" He began to breathe heavily as the pressure lay down on him.

Sandy blinked on the other end, trying to register what had just happened. "Um...ok... You don't have to be sorry, Spongebob. You were busy..."

"Oh, so you're not...mad?" He asked, coming to his senses.

Sandy laughed. "No! Honestly, where do y'all get these crazy idears?"

"Um...Patrick..." He muttered truthfully. "So, um, this weekend... Want to go snowboarding?"

"Shee-oot! I'd love to!" She sounded beyond ecstatic. "Whichevr' day you can is fine with me!"

Spongebob smiled, and he caught an approving smile and thumbs up from Patrick across the room. "Yep, I'll call ya."

"Sounds great! See ya then, Spongebob!" She said. "Bye!"

Spongebob grinned as he put down the phone. "Patrick, you were right! She doesn't hate me!"

Patrick got up off the floor and put his hands on his hips. "When am I NOT right?" He said, sly smile on his face.

Spongebob smiled back at his friend, and then thought about his last comment. Visions of past ideas that Patrick had come up with went through his mind. The outcomes of each not being particularly good ones.

"Am I right?" He patted him on the back.

"Uhm..."


	8. A Drunken Night to Remember

**First REAL Pat/Sponge moment in this fic. I think you'll likey. :P**

"Spongebob, wake up!" Patrick shouted loudly in Spongebob's ear as he slept soundly.

"Hunh... What?" He murmured sleepily, not opening his eyes.

"Wake up, it's important!" He shouted even louder as he stood in his p.j.'s by his bedside, looking extremely anxious.

Spongebob slowly opened his eyes, only halfway, as he was still half-asleep. He stared at his alarm clock next to him. He rolled onto his stomach and said muffled into the pillow, "Pat, it's three in the morning..."

"But Spongebob..."

"What?" He shot up in bed and glared at the star. He hated getting woken up at night, as he always tried to force himself to get at least eight hours of sleep before work. He never wanted to be tired.

Patrick dropped his desperate look and smiled sheepishly. "Um...do you have any ice cream?" He grinned.

"Wha...?" Spongebob was dumbfounded. "Pat, why do you always wake me up for this every time you sleep over?"

"'Cause I get hungry..." He murmured quietly.

Spongebob rolled his eyes and groaned. "Fine. Go downstairs and get some..." He covered his head with the pillow.

He heard Patrick whimper. "Come with me?" He whispered hopefully.

"Patrick..."

"It's dark down there!"

Spongebob lifted his head. "Come on." He got out of bed, only in his underwear, and headed towards the stairs.

Patrick smiled at him gratefully and grabbed him by the hand as they walked downstairs. He quickly flew to the freezer and picked out three different ice creams and then searched around the cupboards for some toppings.

Spongebob stood there in a daze as he yawned, still exhausted. He waited patiently for Patrick to finish making his sundae, when he noticed him carrying two towards the both of them. He looked at him confusedly. "Umm...why are you eating two sundaes?"

"That one isn't for me!" He said, sitting down at the table and setting one down for himself and one for Spongebob. "It's for you!"

Spongebob drew back. "Patrick, you know what ice cream does to me..." Referring to their past incident at Goofy Goober's where the two of them both got drunk on multiple Triple Gooberry Sunrises, and nearly tore the place apart. Dairy was not something their bodies excepted.

"Aww, come on, Spongebob!" He said, taking a huge bite of his own sundae. "It's just ONE sundae!"

Spongebob looked at the delicious looking sundae in front of him and drooled. He would be lying if he said he didn't want it. But he still resisted. "I don't know... Patrick, you shouldn't be eating any either!"

"Spongebob, stop worrying about me! He said, almost halfway done with his ice cream. "Now sit down and eat!" He pushed the untouched sundae closer to the edge of the table.

"Ohhh..." He couldn't resist anymore. He knew he was going to regret it later, but he couldn't resist the temptation of one of his favorite foods. He rushed over to the seat and began to scoop it into his mouth as fast as he could. Before he knew it, the whole thing was gone, and in fact he had finished before Patrick. He sat there, mouth agape, astounded at the sponge's feat. Spongebob just grinned as he licked the ice cream from his lips. Patrick quickly finished his also and rushed back over to the counter to make another.

"You're having more?" Spongebob asked, feeling the effects of the ice cream already.

Patrick nodded and he plopped one in front of Spongebob also. "Are you?"

Spongebob felt his stomach growl with detestation, but he couldn't turn it down. He and Patrick both downed their seconds quickly. Spongebob felt his head become a bit foggy, but he was enjoying himself. "Get me a third.." He told Patrick.

Patrick grinned and rushed back in a flash and came back with TWO more for each of them. Spongebob's eyes widened but he still devoured them. Patrick was still halfway on his third by the time Spongebob had finished. He almost dropped his spoon in his astonishment. Spongebob lifted his eyebrows and went over to the counter himself and made four more, two for each.

And the night continued like that, although it seemed that Spongebob was the only one eating it by the time they were done. Patrick stopped at his tenth, as he began to get delusional at that point. He watched drunkenly as Spongebob finished his sixteenth. His spongy head slammed down on the table and he groaned. "Ohh... I don't feel good..." He murmured.

"Y-yeah but that was f-fun, right?" Patrick slurred.

"You bet it was!" Spongebob suddenly lashed out and pumped his fists in the air, knocking Patrick clear off his chair. The star now lay almost unconscious on the floor as he tried to blink the fogginess from his eyes away. Spongebob looked down at him. "You know what would be a good *hiccup* follow-up to this?"

"Nope."

"DANCE PARTY!" He screamed, and he ripped off his underwear and ran into the living room. He turned on his boombox and loud rage party music began to play. He hit a button on the wall that caused a disco ball to fall from the ceiling.

Patrick grinned happily, and shakily followed his best friend to the living room. "WHOO!" He cried out and he grabbed Spongebob's hands and whirled him through the air like a speeding bullet. Spongebob laughed loudly as he spun in middair. Suddenly Patrick let go and Spongebob was flung across the room, smashing into his t.v., the screen obliterated. He didn't care though. He got right back up and grabbed Patrick. "Hey, Patrick! W-watch this!" And he moonwalked across the floor, stumbling all the while he did.

Patrick giggled, one of his eyelids beginning to twitch. "I...I wish I could do that, Squidward..." He grinned widely.

"I'm not Squidward! I'm..." He was about to say before he completely blanked out. "Uum...I think I'm Sandy..."

"Naw, Sandy's a mermaid!" Patrick came over to his side, and suddenly grabbed Spongebob's butt from behind him and held him above his head. "You dun...don't have a tail!" He pointed out as he squeezed him.

Spongebob giggled at the sensational feeling. "P-Patrick, stop it!" He cried as the star squeezed harder.

Patrick dropped him to the floor. "Sorry. Um...who are you again?" He asked questioningly.

"Sponge...something..." He murmured from the floor. His eyes then caught something on the table. A video camera. He got up to grab it and turned it on. He giggled as he raced back to the star and held it in his face. "So, Mr. Star... h-how's college turning out for ya?" He asked, now completely unaware of his surroundings.

"Amazingly Mr. Squarepants!" Patrick cried. "I'm at my graduation party...with all of m-my best friends..." He grabbed a lamp beside him and put his arm around it and looked at it seductively. "And my g-girlfriend, Linda!" He kissed the lightbulb, only to recoil from being burnt.

At this, Spongebob gasped and dropped the camera to the floor. "You...you have a...GIRLFRIEND?" He asked in horror.

"Yeah...why?" He let go of the lamp and it fell to the floor, lightbulb shattering.

Spongebob's eyes welled up. "I...I thought that WE..." he couldn't finish. He just broke down sobbing.

Patrick gasped and ran to his side. "W-what's wrong, Spongie?" He asked sweetly.

"I-I just thought... I thought...that YOU loved me!" He screamed in his face before breaking down sobbing.

Of course neither of them knew at all what they were saying or what was happening. Patrick shook his head violently and turned Spongebob to his side and shakily held his bony hands. "I was just kidding... I DO love you!" He cried.

Spongebob sniffled and smiled. "R-really?" He asked, stuttering.

Patrick answered this by tackling him to the floor and kissing him hard and long. Spongebob moaned happily as he returned them with equal enthusiasm. They sat on the floor like that for a good hour, just cuddling and making out to their heart's content. At no point did the effects of the several dairy snacks wear off in that time.

And what neither of them knew was that the camera that had been dropped on the floor was currently filming the ordeal.

Spongebob woke up with a moan and he held his head. Unlike alchohol, ice cream didn't have the hang over effect, but he still had a pretty bad headache. He found himself sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by ice cream glasses. The disco light from above him and he got up to turn it off. He had an awful stomachache as he got up and he slowly leaned back over to soothe the cramps. That's when he looked down and noticed that he had no clothes on. He was completely exposed.

Eyes the size of a grain of sand, he quickly peered around the room. In horror he saw Patrick laying down near where he had just been. A blanket covered where his privates would be. He shrieked in horror, and quickly covered his mouth when he saw Patrick stir. He frantically tried to search for something to cover him.

"Spongebob could you keep it down, I'm-" Patrick lifted his aching head, and stopped short when he got a load of the sight in front of him. He turned bright red.

Spongebob stopped short and giggled nervously. "Morning..." He said nervously.

Patrick blinked. "Um...am I still dreaming?" He asked sleepily.

"Uum..." Spongebob then lit up, realizing full well he could take advantage of the situation. "Yes, Patrick! You're still asleep, and dreaming... None of this is happening!" He said quickly and he rushed over and put Patrick's head back on the floor gently. "Just give me a few seconds, and I'll tell you when to wake up!"

As soon as he heard Patrick begin to snore he rushed upstiars and quickly put on his underwear and squarepants. All the while he felt a hot blush on his face. '_Neptune, I must have had too much ice cream last night..._' He thought to himself as he ran back downstairs, fully clothed.

"Ok, Patrick, you're awake!" He called in his ear.

Patrick moaned and turned over onto his back. The blanket fell off but thankfully, he still was wearing his p.j.s. "Hey, Spongebob." He waved sleepily.

"Um, what happened last night?" Spongebob asked his friend.

"We had an ice cream eating contest." Patrick said, getting off the floor and sitting down lazily on the couch. "And...I don't remember what happened after that..."

Spongebob blinked, trying to put the pieces together. He was naked. The disco ball was going. Patrick was practically on top of him when he got up. He glared at the star, hands on his hips. "I told you, Patrick! We shouldn't have eaten ANY ice cream." He doubled over from a cramp and groaned in pain.

Patrick rolled his eyes and grabbed the remote. "You ALWAYS say that, Spongebob, but I know you love it." He tried to turn the t.v. on, but the remote refused to obey. He clicked it hard. "Spongebob, your remote's broken!"

He continued to rapidly click it, Spongebob still fogged up. Then his eyes flew to the t.v. The screen was shattered, the pieces of glass scattered on the rug. He gasped. "My t.v!" He cried. He ran into the kitchen to grab a broom and dust pan and rapidly swept up the glass. "Oh dear Neptune..." He murmured as he tried to sweep it up. He then checked all around his body. "Do I have any glass sticking out of me, Patrick?" He asked frantically.

Patrick glanced at his body for a few seconds. "Nope." He grumbled in irritation as he still attempted to turn the television on. "Spongebob, what's wrong with your t.v.?"

Spongebob held his head as he looked around his trashed house in confusion. "Patrick, can you leave so I can clean this up?" He asked quietly.

Patrick got down from the couch. "Sure. I'll just watch the new Mermaidman and Barnacleboy at my house..." He groaned in irritation as he left for his rock.

Spongebob looked around the house and sighed. He picked up the soggy sundae bowls in disgust as he washed the dishes and cleaned up all other messes. He then returned to the living room, looking around to see if he could find any other clues about what had happened.

Then he saw a flashing light under his ottoman. He leaned down to pick it up, revealing his video camera, still filming. He stopped recording and was about to delete it until he saw the thumbnail. Him and Patrick on the floor together. It was slightly blurry, so he couldn't quite make it out. He quickly pressed the play button.

And his jaw dropped to the floor.


	9. Rewind, Rewind, Rewind

"Spongebob!"

"AAAH!" Spongebob screamed as he was startled by Mr. Krabs, who was glaring at him from the door of his office that led to the kitchen. "Y-yes...Mr. Krabs?" He saluted nervously.

"What are ye doin' standing around? Are ye going to let them patties burn to a crisp?" He demanded, pointing a claw to the grill where smoke was rising.

Spongebob quickly took them off the grill and placed them off to the side. "S-sorry, Mr. Krabs..."

"You've been actin' strange ever since ye came in today, boy. What the halibut's the matter with you?" He came in the kitchen as Spongebob weakly put the patties in the buns.

"Nothing, sir, just tired." Spongebob murmured, trying to focus on putting the ingredients in the right order.

"That's not like ye..." Mr. Krabs commented, trying to see the sponge's facial expression to try to register what was going on. "Turn around, boy."

Spongebob did, to reveal baggy, bloodshot eyes and a pale, lifeless face. His boss grimaced at the sight. "Yer so pale... Have ye got the suds again?"

"I don't think so..."

"Hmm..." Mr. Krabs put a claw on his forehead. "You feel pretty warm, boy. Maybe ye should go home and get some rest."

"Oh, I don't know Mr. Krabs..." Spongebob whispered, not wanting to miss a day's work, for one. But he also didn't want to face Patrick on the way back. It was Friday now, and he had been avoiding him ever since that night.

"I can't have ye gettin' sick all over me Krabby Patties." Mr. Krabs persisted. "Get some rest, Spongebob."

Spongebob sighed, knowing it was no use to argue with his boss. "Ok. See you tomorrow, sir." He said lowly, walking out in a droopy, depressing manor.

The past few days had been awful. After watching that video he couldn't bear to face Patrick, in the fear that he somehow remembered.. As far as he knew, Patrick wasn't gay. He'd never shown any signs of liking him before. He had a crush on Mindy. But this WAS after she rejected him. So it was possible.

Spongebob shook his head. He knew it had only happened because they were both so "drunk" on ice cream, but it was still a hard thing to believe. He didn't know what to feel. He felt somewhat appalled, disgusted, but there was also a part of him that had liked it. Something about it that made him feel...aroused?

He groaned as he made his way up Conch Street. Immediately he noticed Patrick outside, happily blowing bubbles outside of his house. He whimpered, knowing he would have to pass by him, because on this side of Bikini Bottom it was just barren sand. No kelp or grass he could hide under.

'_Come on, Spongebob... He's your best friend... You can't just keep ignoring him!' _He told himself in vain. But as he looked back at the sea star, all he could picture was them on the floor, making out. And it got him slightly excited.

He sighed as he walked as quietly as possible past the star. But of course, he noticed him. He waved at him happily. "Hey Spongebob, you're home early!"

Spongebob tried to walk past him, but the star kept calling his name. Finally he felt a tap on his shoulder that startled him. "Are you mad at me again?" He asked, sounding worried again.

He gulped as he turned to face him, trying to shut out all images of what he had seen on the video. "N-no..." But they kept coming back and he felt a slight blush forming on his cheeks.

"Wow, you look pale..." Patrick said, reaching a finger forward to touch his skin.

Spongebob recoiled. "Y-yeah... I think I might be sick." He fake-coughed into his arm loudly and turned to leave. He felt himself getting red-hot as he pictured more scenarios of him and Patrick together.

"Oh, ok. I'll let you rest." He walked back yo his rock. "Oh, Spongebob! We were gonna meet at my house tomorrow before you go to Sandy's!" He called out before hopping into his rock.

Spongebob took a breath in as he watched him disappear into his rock. A day with Sandy might be just the thing to calm his nerves. Plus he would have another day to try to calm himself.

"Spongebob?" Another tap on his shoulder, and he shrieked with surprise. But when he turned around he saw Squidward standing in front of him. He breathed out on relief.

"Squidward? What...are you doing back from the Krusty Krab?" He asked, happy to see his other neighbor.

Squidward scoffed. "Old man Krabs made ME cook all of the Krabby Patties.. It took about two minutes for the customers to clear out. Bottom feeders..." He rolled his eyes. "Anyways, before he docked me a months pay check, he told me to give you this." He held out a picture frame.

It had a picture of Spongebob in the middle, smiling and giving a thumbs up. Above it, encrusted in gold, said "Employee of the Month" and at the bottom said, "November".

"Congrats, champ." Squidward muttered.

Spongebob stared at the award in his hands. He smiled at Squidward. "Thanks!" He replied, as cheerily as he could muster. He felt himself becoming happier by the minute.

In fact, more happy than he intended. As he looked back at the squid, he began to picture him and Squidward in his mind. In the same situation as Patrick and him had been the previous night. He felt himself grow hot as he was memorized by the thought.

"Spongebob...?" Squidward had been waiting for the sponge to say something else, but now he was just staring there, staring at him lustfully. He poked him at the side, but he didn't move.

Spongebob began to have more thoughts run through his mind. Him and Squidward making out in his living room. And for some reason he was more excited about this than he was with Patrick.

Suddenly he felt a tightening feeling in his nether regions that snapped him out of his fantasy. He felt his cheeks become hot and he flicked his eyes to that spot for a second, trying to not make it visible to Squidward what he was looking at. And sure enough, he had gotten himself overly aroused. It was clearly visible through his pants.

"What are you...?" Squidward was about to ask.

"Um...thanks Squidward, see you tomorrow, bye!" He cried out quickly, running inside his house and locking the door.

He looked back down and took slow, deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. He looked back down, and flushed bright red again. He prayed that Squidward hadn't noticed.

"Meow!" Gary had slithered into the room, carrying a food bowl in his mouth. His eyes widened and he dropped the bowl, mouth agape when he saw the sight in front of him.

"_I...I thought that WE-" *sobbing*_

_"What's wrong, Spongie..?"_

_"I thought...you loved ME!"_

_"I was just kidding... I DO love you!"_

_"*sniffle* Really?"_

_"Yes!" *tackles to ground and kisses*_

Spongebob held the camera in his hands shakily as he replayed the video over and over on his bed. Gary was right next to him, not even interested anymore because of how many times he had replayed it. Spongebob just sighed heavily. "Oh Gary... what have I done...?"

"Meow."

"I know it was beyond my control but..." He murmured. "It's just that... Gary...I don't think I like Patrick like that..."

"Meow?"

"Well, yeah, he was loopy too..." He thought. "But today when I saw Squidward... I just lost it.." He blushed again as he looked out his bedroom window. He saw the silhouette of Squidward as he heard his soft clarinet playing. "I think..." He stared at the figure again and a rush of memories went through his head. "I just need to sleep on it... Maybe tomorrow will be better." He lifted Gary off the bed and put him on the floor. He pulled the covers over himself and turned off the light. "Goodnight, Gary." He whispered.

He anxiously awaited the morning, where he could have time to clear his head with a day with Sandy.


	10. Failure and Rejection

"Here, give her these." Patrick said, holding out a handful of sea flowers to the sponge. They were inside Patrick's rock, and for some reason the star felt compelled to tell Spongebob what he should do while he was with Sandy.

"Ok, but...why?" Spongebob had forced himself to meet with Patrick, and he tried to shut out the memories of the video. He didn't want to destroy their friendship over some accident that had occurred. And although he was slightly uncomfortable, he felt better than he had previously that week.

"Well, if you want Sandy to like you again, you should give her a gift!" Patrick said, folding his arms. "Besides, girls love flowers."

"Patrick, she still DOES like me." Spongebob said. "She was never mad at me."

"That's just what she wants you to think, Spongebob!" Patrick exclaimed. "But on the inside, she's SEETHING with anger!"

Spongebob was almost positive that Sandy wasn't THAT mad at him, but just to be sure, he grabbed the flowers from Patrick. "Ok, what else should I do?" He asked.

"Well..." His forehead began to wrinkle as he thought hard. "You have to IMPRESS her."

"Impress her..." Spongebob repeated with deep contemplation. "How?"

"Well, Mindy..." He swallowed, stopping himself from a sob. "Used to like it when I told her nice things about herself. Oh! And hand-holding! And hugging!"

Spongebob raised an eyebrow. "Um...I never did this with Sandy before..."

"Spongebob." Patrick grabbed him by the shoulders. "Do you want her to like you again, or not?"

Spongebob nodded. "Yes! Of course I do!"

"Then hold hands with her you shall." His eyes narrowed. He then let go of his shoulders and opened the hatch of his rock. "Are you ready?"

"I'm always ready!" Spongebob declared, pumping his fists in the air with excitement.

"Then go, Sponge, go!" Patrick cheered loudly, doing the same movement.

They then heard the opening of a window. "What are you simpletons doing now?" They heard Squidward bellow from his second-story window.

Spongebob smiled and waved. "Hey Squidward, I'm going over to Sandy's so I can give her these!" He held up the sea flowers. "Plus I'm gonna hold hands with her."

Squidward burst out laughing at the thought of HIM being a romantic in any way. "I hope she has the paramedics waiting outside her treedome!" He laughed harder at his own joke.

"Well...ok then!" Spongebob called, oblivious to the insult. "See ya later, Squidward!" He ran off in the direction of the treedome.

"Hey, wait for me!" Patrick cried out, racing out after his best friend.

Spongebob stood outside the entrance of the treedome. The flowers in his hands shook along with almost every muscle in his body. He had never done anything with Sandy like the things Patrick was suggesting. But he wasn't going to lose her as a friend for anything in the world. He tried as best he could to calm his nerves with the deep breathing.

Patrick noticed this and patted him on the back. "You'll be fine, Sponge." He went over and opened the door to the dome for him. "I'll be watching."

Spongebob was surprised at this. "Wait, why do you need to wa-" Before he could finish, he was pushed inside the entrance by his friend forcefully. He turned back to see him dive behind some flower bushes near the center of the dome. He sighed and rang the little doorbell next to the door that led to her home. "Sandy? It's Spongebob."

"Oh hiya, Spongebob!" Her voice rang through the little speaker above it. "Hang on a sec, I'll let y'all in."

He heard the sound of draining water and quickly slipped on his water helmet. After the water slipped down the drain below, the door to Sandy's air filled dome opened and the squirrel in the purple bikini stood in the frame, smiling widely. "Spongebob! Glad you could make it."

Spongebob smiled. "Here, these are for you." He held out the sea flowers, shaky still. He tried as best he could to get himself to stop.

"Aww, flowers!" She gushed, taking them in her hand and sniffing them. "Ya really shouldn't have."

Patrick's words, 'impress her', rang in his head. He quickly tried to think of something to say. "Um... Anything for you, Sandy." He said with a slight blush.

Sandy smiled wider, revealing her big buck teeth. "Thanks, Spongebob! Well, c'mon in!" She took him by the hand and led him into the dome.

Spongebob breathed out in relief. She was doing the hand-holding for him. His eyes quickly caught a pink figure in the bushes outside the dome. Patrick giving him a thumbs up. He returned it subtly as he was dragged over to the picnic table.

"Hold on, I gotta put on my sandboardin' gear." Sandy said.

Spongebob paled. He had completely forgot they had planned to go sandboarding. Or snowboarding, since there was snow on the ground now. "Um...sandboarding...?" He whispered slightly.

"Yeah, we WERE supposed to go sandboardin', right?" She said, looking over him, studying his confused look.

"Um...Well, I thought that..." He tried to think up of an excuse as quickly as possible. If they went sandboarding, he probably would have no chance to try the things Patrick told him to do. "S-since we haven't hung out in a while, that we could just...stay here?" He smiled nervously.

Sandy, to his surprise, lit up. "Why, I thought you'd never ask! I actually was down at Muscle Beach yesterday and tuckerd' myself out. I've been meanin' to just siddown and relax." She looked down at the flowers in her hand and pointed to her tree house. "I'm gonna find these a vase. Be right back." And with that, she headed to the tree. She turned around for a moment. "Want some cookies, too?"

Spongebob nodded, and she winked at him before shutting the door to her tree. Suddenly he heard a light rapping on the glass coming from the far side of the dome. Patrick was pressed up against the glass.

Spongebob flicked his eyes over to the tree. He heard her rummaging around upstairs. He sighed and walked over to where Patrick was. "Pat, I'm kinda busy." He said lowly.

"I know." He said plainly.

"So what did you call me over here for?" He asked, glancing over at the tree a few more times.

"Just to say, you're doing great."

Spongebob sighed. "Please don't interrupt me.." He pleaded, hoping that the star wouldn't do this again.

"I'm just watching.." He said.

"For what?"

"Just in case...something happens." Patrick said, smiling a bit.

"Something...as in...?" Spongebob wasn't following.

"You know..." He looked at the ground slightly and blushed. "When...she reaches out...and...touches you...in that..."

Spongebob's eyes widened at this. "Eeeeeeeew, Patrick!" He recoiled in disgust at what his friend was suggesting. "I thought I was just here to make sure we were still friends!"

"Yeah, but what if something DOES happen?" Patrick questioned. "I want to be here to see it."

"Patrick, I would NEVER do ANYTHING like that!" Spongebob said, folding his arms and glaring.

"Whatever you say, Spongie." Patrick teased and smiled.

Spongebob was about to retort to this when he noticed that Patrick's had a blush that covered his whole face. Patrick saw the stare he was receiving and laughed nervously. Spongebob shook his head again. "Patrick, we're just here to-"

Before he could finish, he saw his friend had disappeared into the flower bed again. He froze in place when he heard a voice. "Spongebob? What are y'all doin' all the way ovr' there?" He heard Sandy call.

He turned around to see her holding the plate of cookies and vase. "Um...I was just checking the...flowers..." He looked to his right where some daises lay. He picked them up out of the ground and walked over and held them out to her. "So I could give them to you!" He finished his previous thought.

Sandy gave him a look, but took them anyway. "You sure seem to have a liking for flowers.." She murmured, slightly giggling. She put the vase in the center of the picnic table along with the cookies. She sat down at one end and motioned for the sponge to sit at the other end. "Ya know, I still have the flowers from the first time y'all visited." She held them out. They were dried up and brown. "I know I shoulda thrown 'em out, but...they reminded me of when we first met." She smiled warmly at the sponge.

Spongebob smiled back, looking oddly a bit at the dead flowers. "That's nice, Sandy. Thanks." He said.

"So, what made y'all want to just relax with me?" She wondered. "You always seem up for some good ol' snowboardin'."

"Um...y'know...it's a funny story..." He felt himself get nervous.

"Do tell, 'cause I got none." She looked at the sponge with interest. "And what's with all the flowers and compliments? You've been really sweet."

"Er...well you know how I called earlier this week, and I thought...you hated me...?" He tried to say this delicately.

"Oh yeah. I was wonderin' what all that craziness was about." Sandy said.

"Well...you see...I thought that...you hated me because I hadn't called you and I was kinda bailing on you a lot." He looked at the ground shamefully.

"Aww, you shouldn't have worried none! I was busy mosta this week, too." She patted his hand that had been resting on the table.

Spongebob felt his eyes flick to her and where her hand was. He grabbed it in his and held it tight. Sandy looked surprised at this but smiled nonetheless. "But it was mostly because Patrick told me-"

"Enough said." She stopped him. She sighed. "Sometimes I just don't understand that critter. I know he's yer best friend, but he's...none too bright."

Spongebob laughed. "Heh, that's ok.. I think that sometimes too." He twiddled his free hand slowly. "So, you don't hate me? For sure?"

Sandy laughed. "Spongebob, I have no reason to be mad at ya! Yer one of my best friends!" She squeezed his hand. "And I really like you."

Spongebob lit up and saw this as another opportunity. He got up from his side of the table and hugged Sandy tightly. She was more than surprised at this, blushing furiously at the gesture. "I really like you too, Sandy!" He cried out.

As he held her tight, he felt her arms go around his waist. He looked up at her to see she was gazing at him warmly. He also noticed her blush and giggled a bit.

Sandy smiled wider at this, as he loved his laugh more than anything in the world. And before she knew what she was doing, she thrust herself at the sponge, kissing him hard on the lips.

Spongebob was caught completely off guard and tried to push himself away, but Sandy had him on the board of the picnic table. She didn't get the message. He pulled his face away from hers and breathed heavily. He saw Sandy had stopped also. "S-Sandy?"

"Oh, Spongebob.." And she lowered her head for more.

Spongebob felt her lips graze against his and he squirmed free of her grasp and fell onto the grass with a plop. Sandy looked at him with question. "What's wrong, Spongebob?"

"W-why were you kissing me?" Spongebob asked, breathing up and down from fright. He hadn't expected Sandy to do what she did. He was beyond traumatized.

"What are ya talking about?" Sandy asked. "I thought you wanted me to kiss y'all."

"We...we were just...hugging..." Spongebob said.

Sandy sat up, still confused. "But ya said you really liked me, too." She said. "And y'all were holding my hand and hugging me like that."

"I was just making...friendly gestures..." Spongebob whispered.

Sandy suddenly glared a bit. "Y'all call hand-holding a friendly gesture?" She said, annoyed.

"Well, me and Patrick hold hands all the time..." Spongebob stated.

Sandy's eyes widened. She glared harder. "Well then, why doncha go off with yer little boyfriend Patrick and hold hands with him!" She shouted, hurt now in her eyes.

"B-boyfriend?" Spongebob repeated. "Patrick isn't my-"

"If y'all just came ovr' here to humiliate me and lead me on, y'all can take yer flowers..." She threw the vase at him, the glass breaking against his water helmet. "And give 'em to him! 'Cause I don't want to see ya here ever again!" She felt a lump in her throat as she glared at the confused sponge with hatred.

"B-but..." Before he could respond, Sandy had pushed him out of her dome. He was doubled back to see that there were tears running down her face.

"Don't come back!" She cried, not bearing to look at him as she slammed the door shut.

Spongebob stood in a daze as he tried to contemplate what had just happened. Then he heard cheering and whooping from behind him.

"Whoo! Way to go, Sponge!" Patrick cried from the flower bed and went over to smile at him. "You sure made up with her!"

Spongebob felt his fists tighten. '_Why doncha go home to yer little BOYFRIEND PATRICK and hold hands with him!' _ He felt a glare form. If it wasn't for Patrick forcing him to do all of that...

More images of the video came to him mind. Ones he had forgotten previously.

"What's wrong, Spongebob?" Patrick tapped him from behind. "Does she forgive you?

Spongebob whipped around and glared at him. "No, Patrick! She DOESN'T forgive me!" He cried.

Patrick sighed and rolled his eyes. "Oh, Spongebob. What did you do wrong this time?"

Now he was beyond enraged. "ME? If it wasn't for you telling me to...hold hands with her and...hug her... In fact she wasn't even mad at me to begin with! You were wrong, and now she thinks..." He couldn't even bear to say it as he felt tears form in his eyes.

"What? What does she think?" Patrick was oblivious to his friend's discouragement.

"She...She thinks that..." His breathing went rapid. "She thinks that we're...dating..." He whispered.

"W-what?" Patrick was taken aback by this.

"She thinks that we're dating, Patrick!" He repeated, turning away from him, tears flowing out. "You and me!"

"Wow..." Patrick murmured, thoughts filling his head. "Are you...?"

"Here. See for yourself." He took out the video camera he had in his pants pocket. He quickly felt a larger lump appear in his throat and he sobbed loudly as he ran for home.

"Sponge...bob...?" Patrick whispered as he watched his best friend run down the road. He took a quick look at the video camera and turned it on.

Spongebob had pretty much cried himself out by the time he had gotten back to his house. Sandy despised him. She thought him and Patrick were dating. Patrick had betrayed him. His two best friends either hated him, or he hated them. He let out a few more sobs, wanting tears to come out so he could drain out his pain.

As he approached his house he heard the soothing sound(to him, of course) of Squidward's off-key clarinet playing. Hearing Spongebob's sobs, Squidward stopped and stuck his head out the window. "Spongebob..." He then noticed the tears that stained the sponge's face. He hadn't even taken off his water helmet. "What, did Sandy reject you or something?"

Spongebob just sobbed louder at that thought. "Ohhhh...Squidward!" He cried out, and he fell to the ground face first, glass breaking around him.

Squidward saw the little pieces of glass that were now piercing the sponge's skin and raced out, trying not to step on them himself. "Spongebob, get up."

"I can't, I'm busy wallowing..." He murmured, face buried in the pavement.

"You have glass in your skin, now get up." Squidward commanded him.

Spongebob sniffled and reluctantly got up. His eyes widened at the little pieces wedged in his skin, as did Squidward. He shrieked in fear. "Squidward get them out, get them out!" He cried.

"Ok, ok! Calm down!" Squidward yelled and the sponge did immediately. He reached out and one by one plucked out the little pieces. There were barely any cuts on his skin when he was done. "There. You're fine."

He sniffed and smiled as best he could. "Thanks, Squidward."

"Alright well-"

Another sob burst out from behind him. "Oh, Squidward! They both HATE ME!" He cried out and he grabbed onto the squid's leg and sobbed at his tentacles.

Squidward sighed, knowing he should be used to the sudden mood swings the sponge had. He lifted his tentacle, trying to get him off, but he held on tight. "Who hates you? Besides me."

"Sandy...and Patrick..." He blubbered.

"Well, that's unfortunate." He said sarcastically.

"I know, it's awful! I have no one to play with now..." Spongebob wallowed. "Plus they'll never want to see me again!"

"Really sorry for ya."

"Thanks, Squid. You're always there for me." He murmured, sniffling a bit. "At least I still have you."

Squidward felt the tears and snot from the sponge leak on his tentacle and stepped away a bit, cringing.

Spongebob then suddenly lit up at what he had just said. He looked up at the squid with shiny eyes. "At least I still have you..." He repeated.

Squidward's leg shot up as he stepped away from the possessed-looking sponge. "N-no...No, you don't." He muttered, trying to back away.

Spongebob got up fast and ran to his side, smiling widely, biting his hands in anticipation. "Yeah! Squidward, you can still hang out with me! We'll be the best of friends!"

"No, no, no!" Squidward bellowed, glaring. He was going to have no part of this. "I'm not your-"

"Aww, Squid, this'll be great! We can play every day, blow bubbles, play your clarinet together..." His eyes shined at the thought. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"No, it doesn't. And we are not going to be-" He was cut off once again, however.

"We can start tomorrow!" Spongebob cried and he squeezed the squid's tentacle.

Squidward recoiled. "Spongebob, just because your two other friends don't want to hang out with you, doesn't mean you have to always come crawling to ME." He folded his arms.

Spongebob's face fell. "B-but... I don't have anyone else..." He murmured, eyes welling up again.

"Spongebob..." He then noticed the tears running down his face and felt somewhat guilty. He sighed, knowing he was going to regret what he was about to say. "Fine... Only for tomorrow, ok? I'll hang out with you, tomorrow only."

Spongebob gasped happily and grinned. "Thanks, Squidward!" He cried and he hugged his waist at a bone-crunching level.

Squidward doubled back with a groan. He tried to tap his head to get him to stop, but his arms were trapped under Spongebob's tight grip. "Spongebob...Can ya let go..?"

"Yeah, sorry." He squeezed tight once more before letting go. He smiled at him. "Be up early tomorrow so we can go to Jellyfish Fields!" He flicked his nose playfully before running to his house and going inside.

Squidward slapped his forehead. "You know that you're going to regret this, Squidward..." He muttered to himself.

"Is Spongebob home?" He was startled by a voice behind him, and he saw Patrick holding a video camera.

"Patrick, what are you-" His eyes suddenly caught a sight down below. Something sticking out from Patrick's pants. "Err...Patrick..." He pointed down disgustedly at the star's hard on.

Patrick just looked down and shrugged. He turned his attention back to the video playing and his eyes widened at the footage that was playing. Squidward backed away nervously and rushed inside his house.


End file.
